Wouldn't Have Believed It...

Often, because I usually have on a cap and sunglasses and am so into looking at the ground so I don't miss a butt, I fail to notice the signs taped to light posts that we are supposed to take down as well (except for lost pet signs; we are supposed to leave them for 2 weeks, & you know we are
keeping track[?%?*]). But this one was posted between shoulder and elbow level, right in my peripheral vision. On a piece of spiral notebook paper and written in blue pen, it was barely damp and not at all smudged, so it couldn't have been there overnight, not with all the rain.
It read:

BE PROSPEROUS, BE FRUITFUL

In my lifetime I have consumed 382 Snickers bars.

Looking for women with BIG BUTTS to be my sex slave and more.

Leave your name and number and I will call you.

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Be sure and question and interview anyone who calls you carefully. Protect yourself. * * *

Ok, WAAAAYYYYY. I stared at it with widened eyes for at least a minute. I looked up for my partner, but he was too far behind me and we were early on our La Brea route and I wasn't sure yet about him yet so I decided to keep the humor to myself and just proceeded to tear the sign down. Odd, to say the least. Creepy, for sure. I could almost feel the author's eyes on my back as they grinned, but what a silly thought, eh?